Fuck Americans

Notice I said Americans, not AMERICA. I too am an American and I stand firmly by my conviction that I and all others like me should go fuck ourselves.

I can stand it no longer. What happened to the great nation of scrappy survivors, the gross optimists, the hard-edged men with insides as soft as fresh baked cookies? Where is the forgiveness? The concern for the common man? All I see now are the most arrogant, ignorant, selfish people on the face of the earth. We consume 1/3 of everything produced in the world, yet constitute just 1/16th of the population. For god's sake, does it not register with you that somewhere in the world your doppelganger is STARVING?
We drive the most SUVs with the lowest gas prices and least environmental regulations of any First World Country. We give 32,000$ tax breaks to 'small businesses' to buy an SUV and eliminate 2,000$ tax breaks for those who buy hybrid cars. That's not just stupid, that's EVIL. Everyone who drives an SUV and does not have 3 kids or a ranch is part of evil. Plain and simple.

And what about September 11th? Oh yes, I'm going to talk about it because nobody else will. We have embarassed ourselves in handling that. First, losing 3,000 people is a tragedy, and I cried for them that day, but compared to Antietam, when we lost 23,100 men in a single days' battle, it's paltry. Let me put it to you this way: compared to Antietam, adjusting for population inflation, 231,000 people would have had to die in those towers and the Pentagon. And did we rally around the president and give him a blank check to do evil? Hell no! Lincoln was castigated by the press for being a fool.

Did we react with grace and dignity to 9/11? Did we rally around each other and the world and start a brave new front to combat the causes of terrorism? Did we forge a coalition of all the countries who face terrorism to shut down the flood of money and supplies to terrorists? Did we even interact more than in the past with Interpol? No, we acted the way the bully does when somebody inally gets fed up enough to lash back at them: we stumbled around until we found somebody we could beat up. Hell, England is lucky they weren't the target.

Oh yeah, and we were told we were doing our duty if we bought an SUV and pumped it full of sweet Saudi crude.

But this isn't a harp about Iraq, it's a harp about Americans and how much we don't deserve to call ourselves that anymore. Can a country that is so fat that 40% of its populous is going to develop diabetes in their lifetime and yet refuses to institute national health care really understand what "We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense..." really means?

Does a country that supports a Vice President that equates voting democratic as a win for Al Qaeda really deserve 'the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity'?

Does a country that sacrifices democracy in order to save democracy really deserve to have it at all, or are we just going through the motions now?

Face it America, we're more George Bush than George Washington. We know more about the lives of people who never even existed (like, say, Rachel from 'Friends' or Darth Vader) than we do about the framers of our own constitution. The average American can name more value meals than amendments to the constitution.

There's a reason the world doesn't like us. We have the best of everything and we do nothing with it. We've got a free run of a 5 star restaurant and we order pork n' beans, but we tell ourselves it's foie gras.

Face it, we suck. America is great, the best country in the world, and I won't stand for anybody trashing America. But it would do a whole lot better without most of us who seem to think this great nation owes them something. Well get this straight pal, it don't owe you shit, but you owe it and everyone in it everything. So pick up your trash, pay your taxes, help out your neighbor and stop blaming others (other people, other parties, other countries) for your unhappiness.



Ask yourself this question: Is America a better or worse place for having you in it? What have you done for it?